It's Been Fun...

It's really hard to believe that its been almost six years since I started this blog. A lot that has happened in the last six years! And although its been fun, but its time for the next level.

I've learned that there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven and my blogger season is ending. If you'd like to keep up, see what's on my mind you can find me here.

May the God of peace guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus...

Oh, the Irony

I'm out this morning trying complete day 2 of week 4 in my Couch to 10K training program. This morning it was kicking my butt. I'm a sweaty, hot mess running in public. Loverly, really.

So, I'm running listening to my headphones, contemplating the teaching I'll be giving next week which is about how our significance is found in Jesus Christ, when a skinny-mini runs by all happy, looking cute in her running clothes (that actually match) and I feel myself slipping into the "If I looked like that then _________" thought pattern.

As I look down to see how much longer I actually have to be running I hear the words and music that are playing in my ears. It's Mandsia's "True Beauty"...and its not about Sex in the City, its about purity and true beauty.

It was in that moment I recognized how Satan had come to steal the true thoughts of my worth in Christ via a skinny-mini in matching running clothes. Well, this hot mess isn't going to let him. "It is in Christ I find out who I am and what I am living for." Eph 1:11 (Msg)

Season's

Has anyone else noticed the butterflies? They are everywhere! They've changed from caterpillar's to butterflies. They've become what they were created to be and now they are flying.

Today I also noticed a lot of elderly people wherever I went. Whether it was at the chiropractor, Wal-Mart or the gym they were there, seasoned with life that has been lived. I got to thinking about how much they have seen in their lifetime. Did their mind ever conceive of the idea that photos would be digital? Did they ever think that their Gen-Y grandchildren would have trouble communicating in over 140 characters? Did they think we'd have come "this" far?

Yesterday the pastor of Strong Tower Bible Church made a statement about how he did not know all that God had planned for him when he said "yes" to God. He did not know he'd be speaking across the country, pastoring a church, teaching NFL players. He just said Yes.

Catterpillar's may not know what being a butterfly is like when they are a caterpillar. The elderly may not have imagined all of the technology we have now. And we will never know how far God will bring us when we say yes to Him.

A Confession of Sorts

*The information you are about to read is very blunt and typed without a filter**

I'll admit it. I'm a headline reader. I visit AOL, Yahoo, MSN and read headlines. If they interest me, I'll keep reading. Sometimes I just think they are dumb headlines. I could write them, as could most of the population. However, one did catch my attention today. Its on AOL it says "Stephen Hawking Makes Bold Declaration."

"He recently said 'God did not create the universe"

Ok, I readily admit that I probably should know more about Stephen Hawking. I know he's a physicist, lectures and has a high IQ. Oh, and he thinks God did not create the universe. However, it leads me to this question

Who has given Stephen Hawking the authority to declare whether or not God did or did not create the universe?

Because he is intelligent? That gives him authority?

I'm intelligent and I say that God did create the universe.

That being said, I expect AOL to be writing a story about me and my thoughts. Stay tuned.

Its SO Comfy!

I find myself very comfortable with life these days. It's somewhat disconcerting.

I mean, really--how often do you find every area of your life comfortable? Isn't there typically one area where you are struggling?

Of course, from the outside looking in, my life may not seem too comfy. I am in the middle of a career change, have many "wants/desires" that have yet to be met, have vague ideas about how my bills will be paid let alone save for retirement. You know, because I am getting to the age where "they" say I should be saving for such things--and "they" also would probably tell me I am behind already.

But, I'm comfy. Even better than that I love my life right now. I love the quiet mornings and the time spent in Scripture. I love meeting new people, hearing what God is doing in their lives and trying to write it down for other people to read. I enjoy brainstorming about new career opportunities, finishing books, visiting new coffee shops. I'm enjoying just being.

I'm excited for the new teaching opportunities that are headed my way. I'm excited about my new blog and the fact it'll be more focused than this one has been. (stay tuned for more details)

I'm excited that I have no idea what each day will bring and the opportunities each day presents in being radically different from the yesterday and ultimately dream how they can be Kingdom altering.

I say its comfy--but really its peaceful. There are many questions but none of them matter because the peace that passes my understanding is guarding my heart and my mind.

Maybe I should say "Peace is Comfy"

Yeah, I think that's it.

It's Raining

The dark sky has opened and is unleashing an enormous amount of liquid onto the unsuspecting people sitting outside at this coffeehouse.

Traffic now slows and horns are honking, umbrellas are out and people are scurrying. We are an impatient people, are we not?

Every time I see it rain, the song lyric "Let it rain, Lord we're waiting for Your rain to fall" pops into my head. It's an early 90's Newsboys song which just goes to show that music is powerful.

Anyway, I digress--back to the rain.

On my good days--there is nothing I want more than for the Lord to rain down all that He has for me. Good or "bad', difficult or easy...I just want what He wants for me.

On my good days--I am able to know that He is moving and I take the appropriate steps to become drenched in the rain.

On my bad days--I honk my car horn, I run to get out of the rain, I complain about my circumstances.

Here's to more good days, than bad.

Even so--Come Lord Jesus. Come.

It's Not Such a Little Thing*

Don't you love those moments?!?

You know the moments I'm talking about, right? You are thinking of one right now. Yeah, it's one of those moments.

It isn't embarrassing or silly. It's definitely not insignificant. But it is brief, fleeting.

It's definitely not small though.

It's the moment when all-is-right-with-the-world. It's the moment when you realize the mundane has been infused with a little of the extraordinary.

I just had one of those moments. I was driving home with the windows down and the hot night air was whipping my hair around and making my skin sticky, whilst a very familiar song played on the radio.

I had one of those moments two days ago when I was making pizza with four lovely young women, whom I've had the privilege of watching grow up. They aren't the same women I met seven years ago. They each remind me of me in their own little way.

I have these moments when I sit on the beach at sunset. Or when I laugh at an inside joke with a friend. Or when I hear my family laugh and out-talk each other.

These are brief and fleeting moments, but they are definitely not small.

It'sThat Time...

Ecclesiastes 3 tells us there is a time for every activity under heaven and that we cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to the end.

I believe time to be a bitter sweet necessity in our lives. Bitter because we get frustrated with God when He does not do things in our time-frame. Sweet because if he hadn't given us a 24-hr day, who knows what we would try to accomplish! We need time and yet it can be the very thing that keeps us from continuing to follow Christ whole heartedly. It can be a deterrent of trust.

I know in my own life I seem to be frustrated the most when God has said no to something I think would be best for me, right now. Whether it was a great career or the man I wanted to marry, God said its not time yet.

What is it you had hoped God would do, but you have yet to see it happen? Let me encourage you with this--Abraham was 100-years-old when Isaac was born. and Moses was 80-years-old when God sent him back to the Promise Land to free His people.

What God has promised to do for you

He.
Will.
Do.

There is a time for everything. Do not let being caught here on this earth, stuck in time, deter you from trusting the One who lives in eternity.

I've Returned

I've returned from the Proverbs 31 "She Speaks" Conference!

To those who were praying for me--yes it was great. I learned a lot and met some really great people.

To those really great people I met--I look forward to seeing how God continues to use us to glorify Him and His Kingdom!

For now I'm going to breathe deeply, love my family intensely and pray fiercely.

525,600 Minutes...

When God asked me to "relax and receive", I'm glad He did not give me a time frame. I would have flipped out had I known it be at least a year. I do not think I would have listened. I would have found my own way.

In the last 525,600 minutes I have received much. Too many things to list here. Too many friends to mention. Too many blessings in what should have been a very dark time in my life. So I'll write about one gift I received.

I found me. I got myself back. I hadn't realized how much of me had gone missing in three and half years. My soul is no longer angry 80% of the time. I breathe deeper breaths. I think I laugh more. I am calmer than before. I hope more often. I dream again. I wake up with prayers being the first thing in my mind, not dread.

I'm more grounded than before. I know my weaknesses, my limitations and am more inclined to ask for help.

Places of my heart have healed--and I'm still unaware of it. I've learned I don't have to earn, but I can just be.

Although there are days I think it should be over, more often than not, when I'm quiet. I can feel peace seep into the deep places and I remember who I am and who I serve.

It Should Be Over

Have you ever gotten to that point where you think the season should be over? When I lived in Michigan it was always mid-March when I thought winter should be over. I was done. There had been enough snow and gray skies, it was time for spring. It was time for new. Here in Tennessee I get this way early September, when I'm tired of the heat and humidity and long for sweater and flops temperatures.

Currently I can honestly say that I'm ready for this season of unemployment to be over. I'm tired of resting. (ironic, maybe?) I'm ready to work. I'm ready for God to say "go here. do this". The temptation to believe that this season will be like the winters of Narnia when the White Witch ruled, is very present.

In the same breath, I know I will long for these days. When my life is whirlwind crazy and I'm back to spreading myself too thin I will ask God for another year to rest. I understand this last year is a rare gift that He does not offer to everyone. I know I'm not the same person I was last July. And I'm grateful for it. I found me again.

Paul tells the Philippians that he " has learned the secret to being content, whether living in plenty or in want, being well fed or hungry." What's the secret? "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

So once again I have the joy of knowing its not in my own strength that I wait for this season to be over.

It will not be in my own strength that I will survive the whirlwind crazy life again.

It is because I wait on the Lord that my strength is renewed. I will soar on wings like eagles. I will run and not grow weary...

Rain and Bows

I think I was five-years-old. I was contently sitting under the big picture window, reading my library of Dr. Seuss books when my dad came in the back door frantically saying my name and "Come quick! You have to see this!"

"But ddaaaaddd! it's raining! I do not want to get wet!" I replied.

I'm not exactly sure what happened next, but I do remember ending up outside, getting wet. I also remember the sun was shining. As we carried me to the perfect spot in our back yard--he pointed and said "Look up there. Do you see it?? It's a rainbow."

There it was...this red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple streak in the sky. It was quite impressive!

I was reading in Genesis 6-9 today about Noah and his first encounter with a rainbow. It was after the flood, after being on an ark for a year and ten days with his immediate family and every living creature that was created. It was after seeing rain for the first time. It was after his life changed forever.

And it was a sign. It was God's symbol that he would keep his covenant to never flood the earth again.

Today we stop what we are doing and race outside (sometimes in the rain) to look at rainbows. We stare for a while and return to whatever it is we were doing.

Maybe we should do that with the covenants of God too. Maybe we should run to remember the covenants God has made in scripture, read/stare/apply them and return to whatever it is we were doing.

Maybe then we'll see the beauty in them as well as in rainbows.

*photo found via google images

Songs and Such

For the last month or so an odd phenomenon has been occurring in my brain. You see, I'll wake up in the middle of the night and have two competing thoughts vying for my minds attention. The front of my head is typically the negative thought. It's usually about something I messed up or something I should have done with my day that I did not and sometimes the self-loathing thoughts get the better of me. After all, it is the middle of the night and I was just awakened for no apparent reason.

The second competing thought, in the back of mind, is a song. Always a song. And it's a song that directly contradicts the negative. i.e. "How He loves" and "He Is Stronger" (these two seem to repeat themselves quite often in that half of my brain)

It's one thing to know there is a war being fought over my mind, it's totally different to experience this war in such a vivid way.

So tonight as I was losing my voice singing way off key at Kairos, I got to thinking about this war that goes on in my head. I realized that sometimes I cannot remember how far God has brought me. Sometimes I cannot think of truth and I do not always remember that I am created in the image of God and how much worth that gives me.

So I sing.

I use words and melodies as weapons.

He makes me victorious.

Fields of Fireflies

After visiting a friend today, I decided to drive the back roads to my home. Although it was a hot and sticky day I drove with my window down. Every now and again I could smell the humidity mixed with the faint scent of rolled hay. (I was driving through farm country.) It wasn't until the later half of my drive that I noticed the fireflies.

Fireflies intrigue me. I'm not sure why, but it's true.

Maybe its because I think its fun that God would create a bug whose butt lights up. Maybe its because they were one of the easiest bugs for my seven-year-old hands to catch.

As I stood near the fence line and watched the fireflies light up the field I realized they really make the mundane field--exciting. They make the ordinary--unusual. They make taking time to watch them--meaningful.

They reminded me of the lyric I had just listened to "Holy design. This place in time. That I might seek and find my God. My God."

Fields of Fireflies make me stop and notice them. They settle my heart to a point that I am comfortable to seek and find my God.

Perhaps, that's why God created a bug whose butt lights up.

Wait? Really?

Why? Why do we not like to wait?

Why are we afraid to do nothing? Why must there be constant busy-ness?

Ever play the game “Frogger”? I may have just dated myself, but this was my favorite Atari™ game. I would have to play it at my aunt’s house because we did not own it. If you’ve never played it goes something like this.

Basically you are a frog. And as the frog, your goal is to jump through the four lanes of traffic, across the gator filled water safely onto your lilipad. Ideally you do this without being run over, falling prey to a gator or the clear-blue water they live in. To wait in the road was to die. To wait on the log above the water could prove to be dangerous; you may lose your life.

Even the Atari™ tries to tell me waiting too long is not beneficial to one’s life.

Why do we not like to wait?

We will tolerate waiting, but only for a period of time. Ever watch a crowd of concert goers? They know the doors are supposed to open at 6:00. They will wait in line to get in, but if you watch closely you can see the crowd get more and more agitated as 6:05 and 6:07 begin to appear on their watches.

Are we afraid we will miss something?

Un-Inspired

It has been an adventuresome couple of weeks for me. Dog sitting, trip to MI, more dog sitting. Time has been filled with relaxing, reading, beaches, camping, family time, parades, favorite donuts, birthday parties, minor league baseball games, confirmation of life's direction, spiritual lows, encouragement, waring, victory tainted with small moments of defeat.

In all of the adventure you would think I'd have something to write. You would think I'd have a witty comment or other random story.

I've got nothing. Maybe its the busy-ness and lack of sleep. Maybe the weariness of waiting is weighing too heavily on my heart.

I am unable to put my finger on it. And maybe I don't need to name it. Maybe it is what it is and I go to bed tonight hoping to not know just tomorrow's mercies are new, but to feel it as well.
Maybe...

The Swell Season

Last Tuesday I was able to go and see The Swell Season at the Ryman. Glen and Marketa are amazing in the movie "Once" and just as legit live if not better. Their voices seem to meld passion and purity in the most intriguing way. Indeed, it is swell. (you knew the pun was coming right?)

It got me thinking--what is a swell season? What does a season of increasing or a season of swelling actually look like? My immediate first thought is a period of time where life is fantastic. Everything is going the way you designed, your job is great, friends and family are healthy and happy. You laugh more than you are sad. Aren't all of these characteristics of blessing and increase?

Then I looked up the word swell at dictionary.com. The first definition of the word (when used with an object) is "to cause to grow up in bulk". Really? That's what swell means?

Because its typically in the difficult, not-so-great moments of my life where I grow up. It is in the making hard choices, in the waiting verses controlling and in trying to stop myself from manipulating others that I have seen the most growth in life.

It is also these moments that allow me to laugh more. There is a richness in the not-so-great moments of life that enable to me to understand the truly awe-inspiring moments.

The Swell Season--they write about ups and downs, tragedy and joy. And I tend to agree--it's all swell.

Reflecting...

Today has been a day of remembering for me. That being said, I'm re-posting one of my entries from January of 2009. It's still so true.

Yesterday the 44th President of the United States was sworn in to office. At the end of his inaugural address he quotes the following:

With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

When I heard these words, my immediate reaction was not to fight for my country, but rather, for my God. Life is different today than it was yesterday. My children's futures will be

different than mine; and this is a good thing. We do not want to be a static people.

And I do want my children's children to say that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end. The journey of bringing truth and freedom, love and justice, hope and peace to the generations that follow us. May my children's children know that it is because of God's grace that we were able to fight and that they, too, are able to share in it.

May the Church's unity be what sets us apart. May our love for our God not be hindered by our greed and selfishness. May we truly turn the other cheek, give extra clothing, and walk two miles instead of just one to ensure that the love Christ has for all peoples is known throughout the world.

May this be the legacy my generation leaves behind, and the one future generations refuse to falter. With strength that only comes from weaknesses, may we see the glory and the power of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen and Amen...

Impossible

I was driving home after a wonderful lunch with a great friend, pondering all that is my life as of late. I write, speak, and teach every now and again. I dog sit, help people who need it and have coffee with friends.

It's not so shabby.

I am also believing for some impossible things. Things I cannot do on my own, things I cannot begin to make happen.

There are two lyrics that have been my friend and my nemesis the last nine months: "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord..." and "I believe Your my healer...nothing is impossible for You. You hold the world in Your hands..." Inevitably when doubts begin to overcome my faith I start hearing these songs everywhere.

So back to the driving. As I wandered past the local high school, behind a too slow moving vehicle, I began to realize how many "flippant" prayer's God has been answering, how He's answering them in ways I would not have, hallelujah, and how I have no idea why He's placed these impossible desires on my heart--but the peace that surrounds them leaves no doubt He will make them happen.

Again, its not something I can make happen, its definitely not something I would dream for myself, but I definitely look forward to Him accomplishing all He has in mind to accomplish. For His glory and my good.

Floods

It's flooding in my area. This place is only 7ish miles from my home. I haven't ventured out to see the damage for myself, mainly because I don't want to be in the way of clean up efforts.

On facebook and other areas there have been two reactions--shock and "Noah" references. Personally its very shocking to me. The devastation and ongoing ramifications are staggering. Yet we can still see buildings, tops of trees and although the street lights are almost under water they are not.

When Noah opened the window after the 40 days of rain--he saw nothing. Just water. His world was completely different. Changed. New. His reaction after reaching dry land? Worship.

*photo found @claytravisBGID