It's just how life is for me.
I cry when I am sad
I cry when I am angry
I cry when I am frustrated
I cry when I see others crying
I cry when I am happy
I cry when good things happen to other people
I cry when I sing songs
I cry when I read scripture
I cry a lot easier when I am tired
I cry a lot. My tear ducts are probably over worked.
I have decided it must be one of the most pitiful things on the face of the earth. It's probably right up there with the hurt puppy dog face or something. People tend to stop what they are doing and try and make me feel better. It started with cousin Chris when we were young and I'd get hurt. He would start making ambulance noises to make me laugh instead of cry. Granted, he probably just didn't want to get in trouble for being the source of the pain...but that's a different topic for a different day.
Then there was my 2nd grade teacher, Mrs. Kirky, who saw me crying during math. "Why are you crying" she asked. "Because I can't figure this out and I am frustrated." was my reply. She took a few minutes to explain it to me, after handing me a Kleenex.
I've always wanted to have the control to not let the tears flow in public, I just was not created to be able to hold them in. I really have no control over them. When I will myself not to cry, I believe I cry more.
So, when I find myself crying at work because I am angry or frustrated I really just feel bad for the men who work with me. They really don't know what to do. I will be fine, just give me a minute, and no, I do not want a Kleenex. Thank you for the offer....but I prefer not to use them till it's all over.