The "What If's"

The past couple of days I've had the "what ifs" piled on my mind and my heart which has thus effected my esteem.

What if I hadn't lost the battle w/ food that day? What if that boy and I had gotten together? What if I hadn't moved from MI? What if I'd like the me that stayed in MI better than the me that moved to TN? What if Awaken doesn't get any bigger? What if Awaken isn't about the numbers? What if...what if...what if...

These questions can cripple a person and pulling myself out of the downward spiral my thoughts are taking is a near impossible task. It causes me to sigh "how long Oh Lord, will you forget me forever?"

I know all the right answers about how I'm not forgotten, mercies are new every day, I am called Beloved, No--I wouldn't like the MI me better, Awaken is whatever God wants it to be, for however long He needs it...etc...

Knowing the right answers leads to another "what if" question. What if these answers were more than head knowledge...what if they were really heart knowledge, fully-believed, fully-embraced answers?

What if....