Thursday was a rare ocassion where I found myself home and without much to do. I wanted to go to bed around 7:00pm, but decided that was a little too pathetic. Just to be sure, I text'd a friend and she did agree with my pathetic assesment.
I decided to watch the finale episode of ER. I haven't really watched this show in about six or so years; but loved it when it first started.
There was an older man who was losing his wife and Uncle Jesse was his doctor. The old man looks at Uncle Jesse and says "72 years. That is how long I've known and loved her".
A lot of people do not live that long. He had been devoted to this one woman for 72 years. How immeasurably beautiful that is! How content and how secure did she feel in that love? Did she take advantage of it? Was she ever tired of it? Did she ever want more than him and his love?
Throughout the book of Ephesians, Paul discusses that through Christ, God has predestined us (Christ followers) to good works that were prepared before the foundations of the world. He talks about how God, through Christ, has lavished his love on us with all wisdom and understanding. that He gives grace so that through faith we may believe in Him.
And well, I find myself taking advantage of it. I find myself wanting more and not being content in this complete and perfect love that He has offered me. It's hard for me to accept this free gift. To not want to work for it or try and earn it. If I am ________ then I can feel worthy of the gift.
But I don't have to be worthy of His love, and the truth is I'm not. But He freely gives it. He gives it in spite of my screw ups, my utter failures and my sometimes horrible attitude.
And He has loved me for more than 72 years. Before the foundation of the world, He knew me. He chose me. He was/is/will be for me.
More than 72 years...