Peppermint

This is my friend Emily's cat, Peppermint.
It weighs 21lbs.
Last year the vet put the cat on a diet.
Last year the cat only weighed 18 lbs.
They think it is a thyroid problem.

Discipline

As of right now I can sum up what I will learn about in 2006 with one word. Discipline! I met with (free) Trainer Ron today. (yay for medical studies!) It was a good work out...good stretching, bad bike seat, good sweat, and bad legs on the elliptical machine...but I am not motivated at all! I don't want to control my portions. I don't want to write down everything I eat. I don't want to work at being healthy...I want it to come naturally.

This could be because I realize I have little to no self-control whatsoever. I cannot find any...not even a pinky full. So, why being healthy is difficult for most, it's feels about 100x's more difficult for me. In six-twelve months I'll be extremely thankful for it.

Now, I'm not just talking workout/eat healthy discipline. Spiritual discipline as well. I'm not the greatest at having consistent time alone with Jesus. I'm ever so thankful for my small group and the fact we pick out studies that "make us" be in the word on a daily basis...but left to my own..not a chance.

THEN there is financial discipline. I'm horrible at budgets...or rather sticking to them. But Mary, who works for Dave Ramsey, has hooked me up with computer budget software stuff...so i just punch in numbers and they tell me how much I have left over, etc. It's just sticking to the numbers I put in. However, if I do stick with it by June I could have 1 student loan paid off and maybe my camera bought. SO discipline on!

Ok...sorry about the complainy post. Mary aslo informs me I've been whiney lately...hopefully it's a phase.

Remembering

Ocean View Rebel...

Masi's future

Table Mountain

Ocean View's Future

Capri's future

South African Art

Elina and Susa


Really...we did paint more than that...

Indian Ocean

Hobbies

So I'm attempting to make business cards for my Photography "business" (aka hobby)

Anyone got any fun/creative names out there. My only request is that it not be "Heather Proctor Photography" because...well..the "My Name Photography" is WAY overdone....

Your suggestions are greatly appreciated....

One Down...Four to Go!

So I have a list of books I'd like to read this year. It's a short, but weighty, list. In no particular order they are:
1. The Problem with Pain--CS Lewis
2. Mere Christianity--CS Lewis
3. The Cost of Discipleship--Boenhoffer
4. The Great Divorce--Lewis
5. The Divine Conspiracy--Dallas Willard

(big shout out to Cousin Chris for the books...Thanks scuz! :) )

Anyway...I finished the first, and shortest, books. Here are some quotes that, for various reasons, stood out to me

"I had the sense of being in a larger space, perhaps even a larger sort of space, than I had ever known before...It gave me a sense of freedom, but also of exposure, possibly of danger..."
"Reality is harsh to the feet of shadows"

"Don't you remember on earth--there were things too hot to touch with your finger but you could drink them all right? Shame is like that. If you will accept it--if you will drink the cup to the bottom--you will find it very nourishing; but try to do anything else with it and it scalds."

"The sane would do no good if they made themselves mad to help madmen"

"Why, if you are interested in the country only for the sake of painting it, you'll never learn to see the country"

"I never said it wouldn't hurt you, I said it wouldn't kill you"

"But what we called love down there was mostly the craving to be loved. I loved you for my own sake because I needed you....Here we shall have no need for one another now: we can begin to love truly."


Lewis has an amazing way of making see things different and I love the challenge of it. He helps me hold on to the glimpses of truth for a little bit longer.

Quoteable

"Dear Lord, Grant me the grace of wonder. Surprise me, amaze me, awe me in every crevice of your universe. Delight me to see how Your Christ plays in ten thousand places, lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not His, to the Father through the features of men's faces. Each day enrapture me with Your marvelous things without number. I do not ask to see the reason for it all; I ask only to share the wonder of it all."

-- Prayer of Rabbi Joshua Abraham Heschel,

as recorded by Brennan Manning in Ragamuffin Gospel

Chamber Meeting

So...I ventured on my first Chamber of Commerce meeting today. It was...business.

As we stood for the invocation I couldn't help but wonder if it's just in the buckle of the Bible belt that we pray before the meeting. After prayer, we said the pledge of allegiance and I had to give thanks for still being able to say "under God" without being looked at weird. (I mean, I probably still would have said the phrase no matter what the government did...Or at least I like to think I would) It also made me laugh at the lack of separation of church/business. Unless all chamber meetings are like this and I'm just unaware. It was my first one after all.

Then we sat through the speech prepared by the Lenox Village builder, who was telling us about Lenox Village. I like the concept, however I think it could either 1) isolate communities or 2) create the perfect place to minister to a community. Maybe it's a both/and situation. (thanks Dr. Meyers!)

Then they gave away door prizes and I left because I had a 9:00 meeting. David wants Rachel and I to hit all the Chamber events. I'm not sure I'm up for business networking. It's very funny to me. Almost too serious. Maybe I'm too laid back? I do like to lighten things up around there...Though. AND if it gets me out of the office, why not.

I do not understand the opportunity to work in the business world. I don't hate it. I love the people I work with, the work isn't that hard, they are seemingly pleased with all the work that I have been doing and have greater plans for me than I recognized...Yet I keep asking Why.

Why here? Why now? Why not ministry? What am I supposed to be learning? And do I really lead a charmed life like my friends seem to think? I was talking about FP earlier today and started crying. I miss it. I miss hearing what Benny is learning, I miss learning from what Benny is learning. I miss the guys and the encouragement they were to me.

Jesus...I don't understand and I do trust that you have a reason and purpose. I'm not upset, or sacred or hurt...just sad and not understanding. I give you my heart, I give you my soul. I live for you alone. Every breath that I take, every moment I'm awake. Have your way in me.....

Lunch Hour

So...It's my "lunch hour" but I'm at my desk, because the conference room is being used and there is no where else to sit in the office. I am fairly proud of myself, I've eaten in all this week. I'm usually out spending money on lunch at least once a week. However, I do have plans to go to Otter's on Monday and use a coupon with Rachel. That's probably what has helped me get through this week.

I got the Vidal/Baker wedding pics online, if you'd like a link to see them feel free to e-mail me.

I went and saw Memoirs of a Geshia. I loved the cinamentography and it truly is a good story. I have to say, as is typical, that I liked the book better. I knew going into it that it was going to be difficult to display all the detail that was in the book...But for the most part it was fairly accurate. For the record...A Geshia isn't like a typical prostitute. In Japan, during that time period, they were very distinct. Geshia's only "give themselves" to their danna, who is typically a life-long danna. They are more known for the art of dancing, conversation and teas. But yes, they get paid to show up to these events.

There is a line that says "We do not choose to be Geisha, we are Geisha because we have nothing else..." The emptiness of that statement haunts me. To not have hope...It's not a problem uncommon. We shut our eyes to it on a daily basis.